I say just in time, becuase Red Dead Redemption is about to come in to my life and hoover up all my spare time like the Teletubbies Noo-noo with the munchies. RDR review is on the cards, but I hear it's BIG, so don't hold your breath.

Hope you like the GoW piece. Get in touch if you have any comments.

While browsing the dog's breakfast that is PlayStation Network at the weekend, I noticed that Hammerfight has now made it's way over to PS3 as one of the 'Minis' range of downloadable flotsam.

I'm still battling through BFBC2 and will bring you my thoughts shortly. Sadly, with a new baby in the house I don't get much solitary PC time, so I don't get to play as much as I'd like. this probably explains my arse being handed to me every time I login.

Apologies for the formatting issues on many of the InvertMouse pages. This is due to Mr. Site (the site software) being an utter arsehole who I would like nothing more to kick in the face until his formatting goes all wonky.

Greetings true believers,

So my Hammerfight review is live. Great little game drowned in pretentious waffle and poor checkpoint mechanic. Take a look in the Reviews section. As it's soooo cheap on Steam (£3), I'd love for you guys to buy it and see what you think.

In a fit of proliferation, I have written and published my AvP review (over in the Reviews section, natch).

It was a difficult thing to write because I love the series (films, games and comics), I love the developer (the Kingsley Brothers at Rebellion were the first people I interviewed as a games journo, and lovely guys both) and I love the PR team who have always been great to me whether I'm ultimately kind to their products or not. So when the game was a bit of a disappointment, it was a struggle to deliver a 'glass is half-full' review.

It isn't a bad game by any stretch of the imagination. If you were to receive it as a gift (as I did) you'd happily play through it and feel you had had an enjoyable experience, but there are better games to spend your own money on - ones I thought AvP would be standing up to compete with (Left 4 Dead springs to mind). I was expecting so much more, and the negativity of the review stems mostly from my high expectations of both the franchise and the developer.

I had to put down what I really felt, otherwise this website isn't worth the effort I've put in so far. But giving bad news to good people is never easy.

I probably won't be spoken to again. *sniff*

Yes, I know I promised a Dragon Age review a few months back, but I got torn away from the RPG equivalent of The Complete Works of Shakespeare to breeze through the pulp fiction that is Uncharted 2. I hope you like the review.

I will deliver something on DAO, once I've managed to squeeze its enormous bulk into my head.

It's time to come clean, but like Tiger Woods I haven't been completely monogamous with you dear reader. I have been... intimate... with someone new.

It doesn't mean anything right now, but who knows, it could grow into something wonderful and that would mean you and I are through.

It's not you, you understand, it's me. Or more specifically, it's Mr. Site; the portal management software I use for InvertMouse.net. As good as it is, it's just not set up for an editorial site like mine, so I've set up a back-up blog over on Wordpress - http://invertmouse.wordpress.com/.

There's nothing to see there at present that hasn't already been said here. I'll let you know when this site and WP blog start diverging.

Sorry again. Please don't slash my shirts.

This may be gaming heresy for an erstwhile commentator such as myself, but I couldn’t give a rat’s arse about the imminent release of FFXIII.

There. I said it.

Sheesh, but 'Mr. Site' makes things hard for a time-poor would-be internet mogul. Every time I come back here the fekking software has re-wired all my hyperlinks, making my thumbnails little more than pot luck! Anyway, all fixed again, I hope they work. If not, let me know.

So I've put live a God of War Chains of Olympus review (gosh, aren't I up-to-the-minute?) and will try to add a few more from my back catalogue over the coming weeks. I've also had a rant about games pricing mostly DLC and pre-owned, which was cathartic.

I've been a little game poor recently so, review of new)ish) games may be thin on the ground, but I'm intending to give you some pearls of wisdom on Dragon Age, Uncharted 2, the new Aliens versus Predator and if I get around to buying it... Modern Warfare 2.

I've also got some ideas for some fun video content, but that may be a way off. I'll keep you posted.

Happy trails!

Looking forward to Batman: Arkham Asylum Seeker in which the Dark Knight returns from a holiday in France to discover 27 Albanians gaffer taped to the bottom of the Batmobile.

A swift update, just to forewarn you I'm working on a Dragon Age: Origins piece

It's funny, but it's so hard to break those games journalist habits such as reviewing the game fairly and giving a balanced commentary of the games' good and bad points. All good, and all welcome in a 'proper' games magazine or website, but InvertMouse isn't looking to compete with them.

It's going to be a long time (if ever) before IM is receiving early review copies of games from ever-grinning publisher PR bods (lovely though they are... well, the ones I'm still in touch with). And I think Satan's petunias will be suffering from frostbite before you'll see an IM quote on the cover of an upcoming game. So suffice it to say, a 'read-before-you-buy' destination we are not.

But what I want to do is entertain, so I must park my studied comments on graphics, soound, animation et al at the door, and commence with comedy moments about how stripping all the Dragon Age characters of armour makes the cut-scenes play out like a porn film.

Just added a review I wrote for my Facebook page back in the summer. It's a little dry I feel, but gets across the "it's good, but it's no BF42" vibe I was after.

One thing I will have to be careful of, particularly repurposing this older content, is length. I was keen that InvertMouse be short and punchy, easily and quickly digestible for all-comers. This review and the Psychonauts one, were written for different sites initially, and while all my own work, may sit a little uncomfortably amongst the more succinct reviews.

I guess I'll suck it and see. If you have an opinion either way. Let me know. It's your opinions that matter, not mine.

I've been writing professionally for many years, but InvertMouse is the first project that isn't for some insidious uber-corporation hell-bent on harvesting you for your bank details. As such, I've been precious about it. I've only actively shared it with friends and family, and always with the caveat "it's not finished yet" and "I've got plans to make it better".

My grand plan was to get the site populated enough to look 'meaty', get used to the Mr. Site Content Management System so I can make the site look good and navigate well (I'm no Web Designer) and then release it, fully formed into the world for the adulation and global fame that was sure to follow.

But this best laid plan of three-buttoned mice and men suffered thanks to my own insecurities and real world distractions. It languished unloved for many months. The thought of holding it up to the world like some digital Lion King seemed very far off, and if I'm honest a terrifying prospect.

But yesterday I threw the dust-sheet of InvertMouse and was surprised to find an e-mail for an honest-to-goodness 'unique visitor'. It wasn't my sister, my wife or a work colleague checking my HTML was robust. It was someone looking for entertaining content on the world wide web and decided that InvertMouse was worth a punt. What's more he - Tristan - liked what he saw. You have no idea how empowering it is having a complete stranger say "I like that, can I have more please?".

If you've read Small Gods by Terry Pratchett (and if you haven't you should, it's easily my fave Pratchett book), you'll remember that the power of the numerous Discworld gods waxes and wanes depending on the number of followers they have and their strength of belief. Yesterday morning I was a grey, washed out shade, pushing the website around my mind like a toddler pushes vegetables around their plate in the hope they'll just go away. Today, thanks to Tristan's belief, I'm that same toddler staring at a possible ice-cream sundae and looking forward to tucking in and sharing it with you. Thanks Tristan.

Has it really been a year and a half since I did anything on this site? Oh dear.

In my defence, I have completed a challenging role in some Shakespearean Am-Dram, moved house, impregnated my wife for a second time, started writing three books, Tweeted a lot, and of course, played a shit-load of videogames.

But that's no real excuse is it? You are (hopefully) hungry for content, and a silent protagonist may work in a Buster Keaton movie, but in a 21st Century blog-cum-review-type-web-thing it just doesn't cut the Colmans.

So to make it up to you dear reader, and to placate the hungry gods of the interweb, I shall be splurging some top writerings over the next few days. As well as some contemporary content, I'm also going to be plundering my archives for some of my pearls of wisdom from days-gone-by. I hope you like them and I'll do my very best not to abandon you again for so long.

I've been soooo busy with real life recently thay I haven't had a second to devote to InvertMouse sadly. I started work on my Burnout review weeks and weeks gao and it's sat, unfinished on my laptop since then. I haven't even switched it on.

The reason for this lack of output is two-fold. Firstly, I'm trying to buy a new house, so making my flat saleable and looking for new bigger place is taking a lot of my time. Secondly, I'm in an amatuer play and learning of lines and rehearsals eat my freetime.

That being said, I'm still planning of getting something entertaining up on Burnout, plus some reviews for other games on other systems.

I hope you like the GTA IV feature. It was born of frustration with the mainstream media (even those that liked the game) going on and on about the negative influences of videogames. I've been playing games for over 30 years and I've never killed anyone, driven like a nutter (apart from on my first (failed) driving  test or wanted to first have my way with a hooker then kill her and steal back my money. I've also not had the desire to become a tennis ace after playing Smash Court, a plumber after Mario or lick my own balls after Dog's Life.

The simple fact is - if you're a nut job, you may be negatively influenced by things around you, and act accordingly. The things that influenced you, did not make you said nut job, those issues are probably a lot deeper than a few hours watching pixels battle it out on screen.

As promised, but a bit later than I'd have liked, my DMC4 review is up.

I re-wrote it about four-times (hence the delay) as I wasn't happy with the tone, and still I'm not sure it conveys what I felt when playing it - "it's a good game, but a bit dated and a bit juvenile".

Ah well, practise makes perfect.

I'm working on Burnout Paradise next (which I'm enjoying) but struggling to find a 'hook' to get into the review. I think all the best driving analogies are already plumbed (sp?) by yours truly.

I'm also mulling over some feature ideas including a rundown of InvertMouse's best games ever. Is that something you'd like to read, or does it smack of arrogance? I guess as long as it's entertaining, it doesn't matter!

I read an article in The Times on Thursday with the headline "Ultra-violent releases will test guidance to the limit ". You can pretty much guess the rest...

'Games are bad', 'Games create killers', 'Games are the anti-Christ', 'Master Chief ate my hamster!' etc.

Now while we at InvertMouse support stronger classifications on games, if nothing else to get through to half-asleep parents that "Blood Gore 7: The Rise of the Anal Spikes" isn't a game they should be buying little Timmy for his cute Wii. But inflaming middle England's sensibilities by suggesting that Bully/Canis Canem Edit is going to create an population of Clockwork Orange Droogs who'll rape and murder their way across Europe like the opening credits to Dad's army, isn't doing anyone any favours.

Nor is suggesting Final Fantasy is "as satisfying - and demanding - as chess". Have you played any of them? Sure they're turn based like the eponymous board game, but in a Rochambeau, "you kick me in the nuts then I'll kick you in the nuts until one of us falls over" kind of way!

It's also lazy journalism to take game violence out of context. As proof, here InvertMouse proudly presents a list of games in The Times' style you clearly wouldn't want your little cherubs playing.

Space Invaders
Row upon row of mentally weak extra-terrestrials advance mindlessly towards your three houses like a Napoleonic division with Down's Syndrome. Happily decimate them with your heavily armed and highly maneuverable tank.

Pong
Two players club an innocent blob between them using over-sized bats.

Mario Kart
Innocent animals are placed in fast moving machines and forced to race around a track. Meanwhile, for their own amusement, human combatants throw things at them to send them spinning out of control

Dog's Life
Sniff backsides and shit your way across an American suburb.

Ape Escape
Docile monkeys are made uncontrollable as they are forced to wear mind-altering human devices. Violently attack them with a variety of weapons including a glowing baseball bat.

See? It's easy when you try.

Hooray! Content is go!

As of yesterday, you now have two carefully crafted articles to pore over, and I'm working on a third (Devil May Cry 4 review).

Since putting up the Hellgate piece I've also been tinkering with the site design to achieve a more visual navigation, rather than the text drop-down bollocks you have to do via the left hand nav. The thumbnail display in the features section is a step in the right direction, but I'd like to put a bit of text along with the thumb so you can see at a glance what is available. This'll be very useful as this section gets more and more populated.

Games in the pipeline include Burnout Paradise and the latest Guild Wars expansion and we are also beavering away at a couple more features. So InvertMouse is growing into something worth reading (slowly) I hope you'll stick with it.

Hi all,

Armed with my new laptop and a will to get this website off the ground, I am putting the finishing touches to two, count 'em, TWO pieces of content for InvertMouse.

One is an Easter feature and the other is a review. The review is proving tricky because it's hard for me to break the games journo habit of critiquing every aspect of the game so you can make a purchase decision based on my comments. InvertMouse isn't about that.

For one, the games I'm looking at will have been released for a while, so chances are you've read the mag reviews and bought/borrowed/ignored the title accordingly. So IM doesn't need to trudge through every facet of gameplay so you can make an informed decision, let the journos with the free access to games and the 9-5 gameplay do that.

The second point, off the back of the first point, is that I want you to read the site because it entertains you. You may already have the game in question, you may not agree with my opinion, but will have enjoyed the journey.

So at present I have an abridged review (note point one) that shouldn't require a week of your life and a litre of Optrex to read on screen (Eurogamer take note). What I just need to do now is ensure it's entertaining enough to put a tick in box number two.

They should both be with you over the weekend.

R.

Sorry for the gap in communication. This has been caused by several things - fear, games, laziness, games, and fear.

The games bit is easy; I've upgrading my Frankenstein's Monster PC to try and squeeze a little more oomph out of it before I admit defeat and mortgage my first born to replace it. So while it's far from cutting edge (more like blunt scabbard) I'm now rediscovering my games collection with all the settingS turned up to... medium! Dawn of War, STALKER, Team Fortress II and even some older titles have been sucking my time out of me like a Dyson powered prostitute... of time.

I'm also trying to elbow my way in front of the HD TV (CSI is my wife's version of crack cocaine) so I can carry on with Mass Effect (XB360) and Devil May Cry 4 (PS3), but 1080i rationing is hitting me hard.

Laziness is exactly what it says on the tin - I'm a tired father, so sue me!

The fear part goes hand-in-hand with the laziness and the gaming. Everytime I start thinking about InvertMouse, I begine to worry that it the writing won't be good enough or the navigation will be shite or the games I talk about will be out of date, so I don't do anything. Or I do something then spend so long tweaking it, that it turns to mush in my hands.

I need to be bold and confident and rely on you guys to applaud when it's good and boo when it's bad.

I've got myself a micro-laptop so I can work on the tube and in my lunchbreak (away from the distractions of gaming), so hopefully you should start seeing some results on here real soon.

Thanks for staying with me.

R.

So I'm creating a website from scratch? The world is my oyster and the possibilities are endless. The problem is I've had thoughts about doing this, that and the other, but will it hang together? Will there be too many pages for me to manage? Will the content management system software turn it into a dog's breakfast? Probably.

So I've been thinking today about scope and what ideas to include and what one's to ditch like Ashley Cole.

Firstly, I'm a thirty-something Dad, with a full time job and hour-long commute, so my time is kind of limited. With that in mind, the content needs to be relatively short for me to have a hope of posting regualrly.

Secondly, I'm no longer a games journo, so getting hold of review code and/or freebie boxed copies is but a distant memory *sniff*. This means I have to fund my own habit once the games hit the shops and as I'm time-poor, find some time to play the buggers. This means up-to-the-minutes news, reviews and previews just isn't going to happen. So I'll need to pick and choose my games/work carefully and I'll need a 'hook' over and above it just being new, shiny and/or exclusive. Again, things will have to be kept short and the hook will be entertainment (I hope). Yahtzee can do it on ZeroPunctuation (great series), why can't I?

Lastly, what sections do I want? Well I'd like to do a Micro-reviews section - bigging-up the games I love and curling one out on the ones I don't. I'd like a Blog (this one) so I can ramble on directly to you dear reader about plans and such. I'd also like afeatures section, so that when I do get some time or feel suitably enthused I can wax lyrical about a subject or post an in-depth, insightful interview with the security guard at Rockstar.

I'm not sure about a Forum. I'd like to give you guys and gals a chance to chew the fat with one another (or chew each others fat if that's what blows your skirt up), but the Forum thingy on Mr. Site is a bit 'Mr. Shite' and I think I'll end up with a thousand pictures of horse knobs and 27 pre-pubescent Americans writing "dude" and "fuck" in every post. I'll put the Forum on hold for the moment.

'Contact us' and 'Links' pages are a must so you can feedback and I can tell you where to go (figuratively speaking).

OK - Reviews, Features, Blog, Contact Us, and Links pages that are incredibly short and punchy, while remaining laugh-out-loud funny and astonishingly well informed. Perfect.

Now all I need to do is write the fuckers.

Yesterday I put in place a couple of holding pages for the as yet embyonic invertmouse.net. I have to be careful not get bogged down in the web design-ness and concentrate on getting some damn fine content out there for you dear reader.

Today, I was cruising the web for inspiration and came across some drool-soaked plaudits for the now defunct oldmanmurray.com. This much revered site - which passed me by I'm afraid to say - sounds like the kind of thing I'm aiming for (funny, irreverent, independent gaming comment, but less cynical). But with the two creators now working for Valve I'm terrified that little old me could never hope to get anywhere near such adored status.

That's the trouble with looking at the 'competition' - they're all so much better! Bastards!

Well here we are, the first heartbeats of what I hope will be a long-lived and successful website.

As a labour of love (read: doing it for free in my spare time), I don't know how long this site will take to grow into something... robust, but I hope you'll stick with it as I get to grips with the technical aspects of web creation and find the time to add some content from time to time!

At time of writing, the aim of the site is to share my thoughts of videogames and the industry at large. Ultimately, this may change as the site takes shape, but I can see this blog, reviews and comment expanding and eventually I might even deliver some multimedia content. You never know.

Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the site.