With Easter fast approaching and the November-stocked Cadbury Cream Eggs looking slightly more in keeping with the season, InvertMouse turns its attention to what else, but rabbits?
So here, to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ we present a hastily cobbled together run down of ten of our favourite pixelated bunnies. I'm sure it's what He would have wanted.
Usagi Yojimbo
Samurai Warrior: The Battles of Usagi Yojimbo (1988 Firebird - C64, Spectrum, Amstrad)
The comicbook samurai with the long, pointy ears and even longer, pointier katana is a bunny Buddhist. Sadly, this means he won't be getting any chocolate eggs, hot cross buns or lovely roast dinner. But on the plus side, look out for Usagi again in InvertMouse's hilarious look at the Dalai Lama's favourite beat 'em ups.
Vibri
Vib-Ribbon (1999 SCEE - PSone)
Those of you searching for a minimalist Easter should look no further than Vibri. The Vector graphic rabbit will happily plod through his music inspired world bringing monochromatic joy to millions. Sadly this won't help your chocolate gluttony one bit, but it'll sound pretty while you trough your way through the EEC egg mountain.
The White Rabbit
American McGee's Alice (2000 EA - PC)
Repeatedly late and creepier than an overly tactile uncle, the emaciated mammal from the "if-Tim-Burton-had-done-Lewis-Caroll" game could do with a Creme Egg or two to fatten him up. Not a great Easter guest unless you need your boiled eggs timing.
Cream the Rabbit
Sonic Advance 2 (2003 Sega - GBA)
Afraid of your children slipping into a diabetic coma thanks to all that chocolate? Cream could serve as a sickly-sweet but sugar-free alternative. But we can't promise her inherent cuteness of Sonic's youngest pal won't cause projectile vomiting and diarrhoea [insert 'ring collecting joke' here].
Redmond
Whiplash (2004 Eidos - PS2, Xbox)
If you're looking for an Easter buddy to make the party go with a bang you could do a lot worse than Redmond. As one of a pair of vivisection escapees, Redmond is a shampoo-eyed fluffy bunny; 'blessed' with the power of indestructibility thanks to the extra-strength hair gel he's been testing.
Manacled to Spanx (a lobotomised weasel), Redmond is used and abused as a bunny-and-chain weapon or grappling hare - perfect for gaining entry to an over-chilled chocolate orange.
The Rabbids
Rayman Ravin' Rabbids (2006/07 Ubisoft - Multi)
If you want 'feet on the ground' for a centimetre-by-centimetre sweep of the area for any missing choccy eggs, you could do a lot worse than this nutjob bunny horde.
Robbie the Rabbit
Silent Hill 3 (2003 Konami - PS2, PC)
An experienced children's entertainer (when he was alive), the undead, cuddly, clawed critter is perfect for kids of all ages. Send them on an egg hunt with Robbie in tow and you won't hear a peep out of them... ever again.
Bunny girls
Playboy: The Mansion (2005 Ubisoft - PC, PS2, Xbox)
If you'd rather be getting jiggy than getting eggy this Easter, invite the vacuous vixens from Playboy the Mansion over. Merely licking chocolate off your fingers would be a waste of a perfectly good tongue.
Max
Sam & Max (1993 LucasArts - PC)
He was a rabbit, the kinda rabbit that'd make you want to change your species just to be like him. A cool rabbit, a wise-cracking rabbit with a shark-tooth grin, cheap bourbon on his breath and a concealed .45 in his desk. This was the kinda rabbit that you'd want watchin' your back on a hunt, even an Easter Egg hunt, but knowing Max's luck those eggs were gonna be bad.
Alice
Bloody Roar series (1997 onwards Virgin/Konami - Multi)
Need someone to keep the ankle-biters in check as they experience the cocoa-solids warp-spasm? Look no further than the lycanthropic Alice. Not only can she kick seven shades of E numbers out of any misbehaving choco-nutters, in her human form she can give the Dads something to salivate over.
by Richard Fentiman
19th March 2008